Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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