Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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