whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize