i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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