i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize