Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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