i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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