she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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