Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
