Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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