i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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