Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There r osticjed everywhere
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
