I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
