I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
