I bet he comes in French.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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