you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
