i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
