Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
