We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
