I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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