im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
