If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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