I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
