Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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