I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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