I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
