Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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