Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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