i don't like sucking hair
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
