I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
