I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
