Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
