I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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