I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
