my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
