I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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