I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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