The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
