Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
