She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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