Define "chronic" masturbator.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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