how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
