I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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