I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
