just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
