Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
