What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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