garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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