you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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