I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
