The maid of honor just puked.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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