"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
