i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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