just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't turn off my feet"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
