great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
