he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
