I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
