I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can text with my tongue
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
