If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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