they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
