All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
