Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
