And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
