I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
