I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
