So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
