Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
