I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
