Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
