What did we do last night that was yellow?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
