of course. lets lasso hookers.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
