He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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