My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
