she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize