Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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