i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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