i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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