bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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