dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
