Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
